The stress of my diagnosis and treatment takes a cumulative toll on me, and I evaluate whether or not I wish to continue with my life. I share with Dr. Brian (my light touch chiropractor) the power of intention.

You Can’t Trick the Universe

March 26, 2014

Subject: today

Hi Dr. Brian,

I feel much more grounded after our session but can still feel the underlying “disorientation.”  I think I went into “other realms” as I contemplated whether I wanted to live or die, and I became aware of how powerful my intentions are. [I went deep into myself for a few days, barely leaving the bed, contemplating whether I wanted to live or die. The stress of my diagnosis and treatment had peaked and I was no longer sure I wanted to go on. As I seriously considered choosing death, I could feel my physicality and my psychological state reorienting themselves to be in alignment with my new intention—death. It kind of scared me how quickly things shifted. It was like the universe said, “You want to die, no problem, we can accommodate that request easily.” I became more aware of the power of intention and how important it was to be clear and not ambivalent. If I want to die, the universe will align. If I want to live, the universe with align. And if I bounce back and forth, so will the universe. In a way, the universe is like a mirror.]

In addition to the underlying disorientation, I am sensing some energy in my system that does not feel like mine and does not feel positive in nature.  Since I was contemplating death, “darker energies” may have seized the opportunity to enter my body.  They love to be in my body, but they cannot be there unless I allow it. I think I will ask the universe to clear my body of energy that is not 100 percent mine and to reinstate my desire to live.  Yet I have to make sure I really mean it first.  You can’t “trick” the universe.  It doesn’t align with what you say, it aligns with what you feel in your heart and what your actions say.

It is still profound and shocking to me how our internal world shapes and creates our external world. The more conscious we can be of our thoughts and feelings, the more we can actively cocreate with the universe. If we are unaware or filled with ambivalence, then we cannot align in harmony with the greater will of the universe.

I think that is enough philosophical talk for now :)



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