January 3, 2014

Subject: Initial impressions

Dear Dr. Brian, I was deeply impacted by our first two sessions. The following letter shares some of my initial impressions.

I think I am a little bit in shock because I came to you thinking I was going to get a traditional spinal manipulation, unlock a few things, and be done with it.  How you work is foreign to me, so setting goals is still a little confusing since I don’t understand what you do and what the possibilities are.  Though you tried to explain, right now it is just a bunch of words and mumbo jumbo theory and ideas that I am unable to connect with.

That being said, it is clear that it is in the flow for me to have the experience of meeting you.  So I plan to stay around long enough to determine if it is helpful and a good fit for me or a stepping stone to something else.  If I pursue this treatment, I trust that, with time, through the experience of it, I will slowly form words and concepts regarding the treatment that make sense for me.

Also, you commented on my being very inward and holding things close to my vest.  Yes, I am very introspective and slow to trust, but I also have a very extroverted and warm side.  Your office and your energy seem to evoke in me an intense surge inward.  It is hard to put into words.  I shifted the first moment I walked into your office, and the same the second time.  How you have seen me is not what I typically show the world.  Even during this challenging time, I often feel light and am smiling.  I think there is a reason that I am so “different” in your office.  I suspect it is because on some level, that is not conscious, I feel safe to do so.  These different “states” are communicating with you, and you have implied through your response that you are listening and receiving, and to some degree understanding.  So I feel very intense and deeply drawn inward, and there is a kind of heaviness to my state, at least in our initial two visits.  I feel a heightened sense of guardedness and need to protect, which I know seems contradictory to my feeling safe, but actually I feel safe to let that be seen in a more obvious way.  Even when I clutched the teddy bear on your office couch, I was communicating something to you.  Besides the fact that it was genuinely comforting and pleasurable, I was showing you my child side and felt safe to do so.

This is an extremely vulnerable time for me.  I move slowly and take time to process.  That works best for me.  I am also slower to trust and more guarded around men.

So I am in the beginning of discovery with you. I trust time will tell. It always does :)

Laura